he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
