Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
