I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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