He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
