I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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