So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
