So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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