ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
