I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
