I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize