so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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