Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The Olympian is in my bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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