dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Randomize
