Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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