Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?