I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
