Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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