Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude i'm inner monologue high
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
