Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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