I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
