...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she smelled like a LAN party
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
