My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
