thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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