we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
tell me about the fingering
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