so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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