i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
