What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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