I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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