A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
