my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
