I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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