Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
