i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize