so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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