smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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