He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize