quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
