A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
