Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
