i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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