She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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