Nicole vs. Life
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
