i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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