So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
