i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
