And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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