I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
