Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm always down for nudity.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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