So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
