well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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