Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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