i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
