It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
