Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
