the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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