The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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