when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
