I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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